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Rediff.com  » Getahead » Do you face these issues in your marriage?

Do you face these issues in your marriage?

By Samindara Sawant
Last updated on: May 30, 2005 12:51 IST

Yesterday, we presented three common problems that arise in marriages.

Here is a look at some of the typical issues that confront couples in a marriage:

Part I: Three common problems in a marriage
Part III: Marriage: Big problems, small solutions

1. Self-esteem

Nothing is more important to intimacy than your sense of self-worth.

How you feel about yourself in relation to other people is a major factor in the quality of your intimate relationships.

Trouble in a relationship almost always involves a problem with self-esteem.

2. Problems confiding

The ability to reveal yourself fully, honestly and directly to another human being is the lifeblood of intimacy. Intimacy thrives only when partners know what is happening in each other's lives -- the trivial as well as the important.

Most couples discuss the mundane happenings of their daily grind and derive each other's support. Many a troubled marriage has partners not being able to confide in each other.

3. Emotional intimacy

Many couples also find problems with emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy also springs from the fact  that partners have matching wavelengths. They find they can relate to each other.

4. Crisis intimacy

How a couple reacts to a common crisis and how they support each other is very pertinent and reveals a lot about their marriage.

Very often, couples can't take the strain of a crisis and the marriage starts developing cracks.

The death of a child, the infertility of partner, a huge financial setback are common crises.

5. Poor conflict resolution skills

Many couples lack the appropriate skills to resolve conflicts. They are unable to accept their own drawback and work on it.

6. Lack of sharing

A very common grievance that many women have is that men don't adequately share the responsibilities of home and child, leaving the women feeling disgruntled and angry.

This anger often finds inappropriate channels that further damage the relationship.

7. Sharing commonalties

Most couples are joined by common interests, passions and values.

Varied and different interests and passions can be a sore point among couples but with sensitivity can be worked on. But if the values differ, they can cause a huge strain on the relationship and start eroding it.

Part I: Three common problems in a marriage
Part III: Marriage: Big problems, small solutions

Samindara Sawant is a clinical psychologist and founding member and partner of Disha Vocational Testing and Counselling Center, Mumbai. She does marital counselling on a regular basis.

Samindara Sawant
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