Anil Kumar

I am not entirely sure what prompted me to write this diary. It must have been something that I saw or read on the news recently. Yes, that must be it. Probably that news report about attacks on minority churches in Maharashtra.

Anyway, before you start slamming me for being pro-Christian and anti-Hindu or something of that sort, let me quickly clarify my stand.

Yes, you are partially right. I am anti-Hindu to a certain extent. But I am also anti-Christian, anti-Muslim, anti-Sikh, anti-this-religion, anti-that-religion etc. That's right, I am against all religions that exist today (the fact that I might not even be aware of the existence of a lot of religions out there is of no consequence).

Let me state it bluntly. I equate religion with faith in God...and when I don't believe in God itself, why should I believe in any religion?

I can hear you say "OK...All this is fine and dandy, but what's the point you're trying to make, pal? Can you cut to the chase please?"

Well, the point of this article is really simple. I was not an atheist (read non-believer) all my life. In fact I was God-fearing and religious not so long ago.

After a few ups and a lot of downs, I kinda stumbled upon this path. This news article I referred to earlier made me reminisce about my faith (or rather the lack of it) and I thought I would take a status check...make a list of pro's and con's and see where it is that I stand.

I mean, being atheist also implies that I am super-rational about such things, right? So I thought I would go ahead and list the pluses and minuses of being an atheist if you will. A check-list, just like any logical, rational person would do. The things on the list might not necessarily be in the order of (in)significance though...

So here goes my list:

The Pros:

1. Destiny/Faith: Being an atheist, I no longer have the luxury of believing in some super-natural power and its control over my pre-determined life. I now truly believe that I have no destiny whatsoever and that I have the ultimate power over my indeterminate existence. Wow...aint that cool.

2. Superstition/Astrology: I can't be superstitious any more. I mean, a superstitious atheist is an oxymoron isn't it. No can do. So good-bye favourite key-chain, so-long, lucky shoes. Ditto astrology, nameology, numerology and all the numerous other predictive sciences. The only thing I can now believe in is the probability theory. She esh, wish I had paid more attention to Maths in school.

3. Rational thinking: I can rationalise and think through otherwise complex situations. Heck, I could even solve burning everlasting national issues like the Babri-Masjid/Ram-Janma-Bhoomi dispute in no time. Raze the whole area...nuke the place if need be. Decimate the problem itself.

4. Tick-tock-tick-tock: I save (in)valuable time every day (from 15 mins to 1/2 an hour). You see I don't have to pray. I don't have to pay my respects to the almighty one. Boy, does that give me an extra fifteen minutes in bed everyday. That might not seem like much to you, but hey...I forgot to tell you earlier that I am an insomniac too. 5. Rs/$$: I save a lot of moolah since I don't have to dole out money at places of worship. OK, I am a cheapskate, but hey at least I am upfront about it. I save even more money since I don't have to buy any special offerings to God during religious festivals. Man, am I lowering the bar for kanjoosi or what. 6. Save the earth: I score a few brownie points with the environmentalists too... since I wouldn't be immersing toxic idols in lakes or for that matter blasting off religious songs on loud-speakers either.

The cons:

1. Solitaire: The biggest loss I have felt is not having some powerful-unknown-force to turn to in times of trouble. It used to be comforting to turn to God when I had problems and needed consolation. Now that I am an atheist...nah nah, you cant have it both ways boy. You are on your own now.

2. Meditation/Prayer: I know this sounds weird, but although I don't believe in God, I do beleive in the therapeutic effects of meditation. Meditation becomes all the more difficult when you have no God to medidate upon. I am not kidding. Try it out and you will know what I am talking about.

3. (In)sanity: Lack of faith/belief can be very very un-nerving in today's bizarre times. I mean, read the newspapers, watch television and all the happenings in this world and tell me if any sane and rational person can remain so ? Its tough enough to survive with belief in some almighty/omnipresent force. Its even tougher without it, believe me (Pun intended). Anyway, the point I was trying to make was that at times you might think you are going insane. By the way, I am still not convinced I am not insane.

4. Religious festivals: OK, I know I am being a hypocrite here, but I do love the food that gets prepared during the million odd religious festivals that are performed at home every year. I love all those delicacies that are prepared and offered to God (and then to the devotees). You kind of get a guilty feeling when you partake in all the good food while not having any faith in the reason behind it.

5. Blasphemy: Now this is one helluva area where I feel atheists are at a loss. Being an atheist, you are almost deprived of certain colloquial and colorful expressions. Whatever happens to expressions like "Bloody hell", "Goddamned", and "Jesus H Christ!!" How can you blaspheme when you don't believe in God? No more cussing, no more swearing. Mind your language, Sir.

6. Playing God: This is the final nail in the coffin. How do you expect to play God when you are an atheist? I guess that is what prompted some wise guy to remark: "I was an atheist until I realized I was God".

(Anil Kumar wishes he had never dabbled with God and had stuck to good old humans instead)

Illustration : Lynette Menezes

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