He was taking a walk late one evening -- it was around 10pm -- and, after a few rounds, was resting on a wall on the side of the road, smoking a cigarette.

Suddenly, a cop car stopped in front of him. Apparently they make their rounds around that time to make sure there are no anti-social activities (like couples cuddling in dark corners) going on in the neighbourhood. The policeman asks hubby to get into the van.

Hubby naturally wants to know what his offence is. Instead of an answer, the cop gives him a hard whack on the back of his neck.

The cop then starts ticking him off for smoking. Since smoking is not banned on the roads yet (as far as we know), hubby still has no idea why he has been picked up. The policeman then went on to tell him he should not be hanging around, creating a bad impression. Hubby tries to explain that he was just taking a walk and had stopped for a smoke.

The policeman is still not forthcoming about what hubby's offence is and he's taken to the police station.

Where he is administered another hard whack.

If you know Mumbai's policemen, you know better than to ask too many questions. The conversation takes an even more bizarre turn now.

Cop: What is your father's name?

Hubby: *gives his name*

Cop: So, is your family here?

Hubby: No.

Cop: You live alone?

Hubby: No, I have my wife.

Cop: Wife? You're married?

Hubby: Yes.

Cop: How many years have you been married?

Hubby: Over seven years.

Cop: Huh? Seven years? How many kids do you have?

Hubby: I don't have any kids.

Cop: What do you mean, you don't have any kids? I've been married for four years and I already have two...

(At this point, it seems like the policeman would have arrested hubby once again, this time for going against the country's unwritten policy of having at least one kid for every year of marriage!)

Hubby: Well, I don't have any.

Cop: Yeh kaise ho sakta hai? (How is this possible?)

(Somebody tell this guy please!)

After a few minutes of asking him these inane and utterly pointless questions, he warns hubby that if he meets him again, he would not get off as easily.

Even now, hubby is clueless about what he's actually done!

When I heard of this bizarre episode, I was amazed. I thought we lived in a democratic country. But what happened to him was more like something under a repressive regime where you have to hide behind a coconut tree to have a smoke!

It also reminds me of another incident that happened at the Bandra police station a few months ago. Hubby was walking on a crowded road when the front mirror of a Mitsubishi Lancer passing by got entangled with the sling bag he was carrying. The mirror got dislodged. The driver of the vehicle, misunderstanding what had happened, stopped his vehicle in the middle of the road and came charging at hubby with a crowbar.

Hubby, fearing for his life, fended off the blow and hit back. The police arrived after everything was over and took both of them to the station.

Since the guy was driving a Lancer, he was allowed to sit in a chair and was treated well. His father (driving a Mercedes) was summoned immediately. Hubby was made to sit in the corner on the floor like a criminal, while a few cops took turns to give him the choicest of gaalis (curses). All this before any of them even knew what had actually happened. Not that they cared. They were probably happy to have disposed of their quota of abuse for the day.

The father, believe it or not, wanted to file an FIR (first information report) against hubby, accusing him of harmful intent in the first degree! And that in spite of the fact that my husband did not even have a weapon upon him, unless, of course, you counted his sling bag as one. The father threatened. And ranted. And raved. Before he drove off with his injured son in the Merc.

Hubby was then asked all sorts of questions about his life, activities, hobbies, family history and details that are basically sought only to scare a person, not because they serve any purpose.

Finally, after being detained in the police station for nearly the entire evening, he was let go with a warning that he would be contacted soon.

We were seriously considering approaching a lawyer for legal advice, but our fears proved unfounded when days went by and then months and they seemed to have forgotten all about it. The Merc man and Lancer son must have recovered very quickly and realised what a 'first degree' offence really is.

I was just wondering whether things like this happen to others too. Is this the way the police react to a situation? Why do cops treat people like they are guilty even before anything is proved? Do people just get picked up and whacked for no apparent reason, with no explanation given? Can policemen treat you like a criminal, make you sit on the floor and abuse you because you aren't driving a car, while the guy who threatened you with a crowbar does?

It makes you wonder... Maybe this is the reason criminals are going scot-free, while policemen exhibit their power by harassing ordinary citizens. I'm beginning to understand why people are afraid and unsure of policemen, the very people who are supposed to protect them.

After all, with policemen who behave like this, who needs criminals?

The policemen of Mumbai had better avoid Anita Bora for a while.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh

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