Sitting behind my laptop in a haze of tobacco smoke, in this not-so-lively city of Singapore, I wonder why I am here, away from everything and everyone I cherish. I look for an answer in the lines of code before me, but all I get are questions. Is it the money that has lured me here? Is it the lifestyle? Or is it the mirage of job satisfaction? I seem to be chasing all three. The fact is that in less than a year after graduating with not-so-great grades I have got a good job. When I look around, I find so many of my friends still looking for a means of earning their living. How many people would be bothered about job satisfaction when they do not even have the satisfaction of a job? No one except me, I would say. But then, I must be a moron. It is ridiculous! Money and lifestyle are understandable! But job satisfaction?! In today's world?! I vividly remember my ambition at school. I wanted security. A decent degree. A job! And quite like all others around me, I wanted to be either a doctor or an engineer. I soon ruled out the medical profession, for I do not like the sight and smell of gore. And yes, I was better with numbers than remembering that a cockroach -- or was it mango? -- was scientifically called periplaneta Americana. So engineer it was. That simple decision took on a whole new meaning the day I stepped inside my alma mater, the Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur. I clearly remember L7, the lecture hall, where our dean addressed us for the first time. The atmosphere inside was electric. I could feel the environs bursting with excitement and a sense of achievement. We were part of something great, a phenomenon in the making, he said -- one that would change the world. We were entrusted with the responsibility of delivering the world from misery, of making technology the vehicle of change. Five years hence, nothing of that sort has happened. I graduated last year, got a job in Singapore, and am leading a life as just about anyone else -- an 8-to-6 office job, with coffee and lunch breaks, six hours of sleep and plenty of dreams about my favourite actresses. Yes, there is something missing. What IIT did was ensure me a job. Satisfaction is still miles away, if at all it exists. But I have ample cause to be grateful. Today, when I open my mailbox to find standing job offers from around the globe, despite the recession, I can at least think about job satisfaction. I have been given the privilege to make choices! Today it is no longer about liking mathematics, but rather about being able to make choices that bring me happiness. It is not about hating cockroaches and blood, but about knowing my limitations and coming to terms with them. Those words of my dean still ring loud and clear. When he had demanded of us to go and change the world, all he had asked us was to change our own little world. If all of us could do just that little bit, the whole world would change for the better. And, as my thoughts move along, I find life is not about job satisfaction alone. It is also about those people who attended the lectures with me, lived with me, ate with me, laughed and cried and abused, and played with me for four years, and built a bond that will last a life long. I learnt camaraderie. And I also learnt humility. And to be able to recognise my failures, my successes. I learnt to have faith in my convictions, to have confidence in my abilities, to dare to dream. And to aspire to make those dreams come true. Anyway, I should get back to my code. That needs change too. There's one last thing I would like to say, though. Visions are but images of the mind and it is up to us to transcend them into reality. I salute my alma mater for having taught me this. Rishabh Bajpai, however, hasn't stopped chasing that mirage, job satisfaction. Illustration: Uttam Ghosh Tell us what you think of this diary Be part of an exciting venture! Write a Diary!
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