The two foreign students who stripped in public recently must be seething at the treatment they received from their college authorities in Pune. After all, they had not done anything as bad as what millions do everyday -- squat by the railway tracks to attend to their calls of nature in broad daylight. Strange that the police have not yet noticed the 'squatters'. Maybe if Channel [V] trained its cameras on them... And what if others follow the example of the college authorities? For one, Bombay would be brimming with job opportunities; a lot of people would get the sack... Well, the logic used to reach this conclusion is as dubious as the one used in the case of those girls. But if there is justice in India, those people too must be fired. Getting a bit paranoid about the whole thing, ain't I? Why not? The tendency of public servants to paint their transgressions as acts committed in 'public interest' continues to prevail. When will they realise that Indians are not what they used to be before the mid-80s? The least they can do is come up with innovative excuses for various acts of omission and commission. Some time ago, a police officer caught some couples from Bandra Bandstand, a popular spot for 'romance'. Apparently, he wanted to teach them a lesson in conducting themselves in public. He later realised that there was no law under which he could book them. Well, well, well... who needed the lesson, the officer or the youngsters? At this rate, some of his victims might actually be wishing that extortion increases -- then the police would have something worthwhile to do. I used to think very highly of our police and other government officials. I even wanted to be one. But some perplexing incidents made me change my mind. It wasn't a sudden shift, but a gradual one. I was, despite evidence to the contrary, insistent that the entire batch was not contaminated, just that there were a few rotten ones among the lot. The gradual nature of my change of heart was propelled by many eye-opening incidents until, finally, I developed an in-built suspicion of any decision taken in 'public interest'. The bureaucratic definition of 'public interest' defied my understanding of what constitutes public interest. It continues to do so. Some such incidents refuse to vacate the space that they came to occupy in my mind during those impressionable years before I became a cynic, and made way for new, more unpleasant incidents. I can understand that because they exposed the height of absurdity that some mandarins are prepared to flirt with in the name of 'public interest'. Like when a food inspector of the Delhi administration went to the outlet of a multinational fast food chain, which had applied for a licence. The then dispensation was inimical to MNCs. After the inspection, this gentleman, the food inspector, declined the licence. Since the MNC had invested a huge sum of money in the outlet, it couldn't pack its bags and leave. So an explanation was sought. It did not take long for the press to enter the picture and stoke the fire. The food inspector refused the licence because he had come across a solitary fly in the outlet's kitchen! Attaboy, that's the spirit! Would they have got away with such 'negligence' back in their countries? Proud of the inspector who stood up to the might of the MNC, I went with some friends for an evening stroll. We stopped by at our favourite roadside tikkiwala to enjoy some garam garam tikki toast and gol guppe (for those unfamiliar with Delhi phraseology -- pani puri). After putting fresh tikkis on the tava, the man began serving the gol guppes, dipping his hand in one vessel to scoop some masala, then in another to fill the puri with pani and, finally, the sweet sauce. Every time his dirty fingers dipped into the vessels, I felt like throwing up, wondering whether he had washed his hands before serving the food and whether his nails were clean. Though I love gol guppes, it was rather difficult to attack them after that. Earlier in the day, I had rejoiced on reading about the food inspector and the MNC. Just one fly had cost the MNC a licence. And here we have -- god alone knows how many -- people selling eatables on the roadside, often right next to dirty gutters. I'd rather not dwell on this -- about flies, mosquitoes et al. I fear I may have offended your sensibilities sufficiently to put you completely off such food. I would not like to be held responsible for affecting their livelihood. Needless to say, all my pride about the inspector has now vanished. I wonder about standards in the MNC outlet's kitchen. No, I have not been there. Not yet. But even the food inspector could come up with only one fly. That must have been some kitchen. I mean, how often have you entered the kitchen of a hotel or eatery and not seen a cockroach, at the very least, not to mention rodents? So what is the big deal about a fly? Or, for that matter, undressing in public? Dhiraj Shetty plans to enjoy a bit of nudism one of these fine days. Tell us what you think of this diary
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