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A Kargil six-shooter

For over a week, I'd been trying in vain to log on to Pakistan's premier publication, The Dawn. On Saturday, the ToI informed us that "carried away by patriotic zeal, VSNL has decreed that Indian netizens should not read the Pakistani newspaper." One VSNL official privately admitted to the reporter that the website has been blocked, while VSNL Delhi affirmed that the site is "unavailable" and blamed its Bombay headquarters, while HQ feigned ignorance.

Apparently, an MEA official had complained to VSNL about the blockage: "Why has VSNL done this when the MEA doesn't have a problem with the newspaper?" But when contacted, the MEA claimed that there was no difficulty in accessing the site. Thus, the reporter opines that the blockage must have originated in the PMO, which now controls communications.

I cannot believe the PM would have endorsed this idiot move. The MEA hasn't, either. Pramod Mahajan, when he banned cable operators from relaying PTV, went chest-thumpingly public with the issue -- and is threatening more. Ergo, not the I&B, either. Then, who??

THIS MAKES ME MAD! I'm the first to support -- nay, demand -- emergency-like gags during a war-like state. But it has to be spelt out by the government -- it's called accountability. I can't brook some anonymous pen-pushing imbeciles taking censorship in their hands. It's too dangerous to be trifled with.

There are ways to circumvent Internet blocks. I shan't mention them here since I'm not as stupid as the reporter, who, in a fit of flaunting his knowledge, wrote, "The News, The Nation and Frontier Post are, however, still available to VSNL subscribers... It is baffling why VSNL would choose to single Dawn out for the chop. Perhaps the gentlemen who gave the order haven't heard of its rivals."

As of yesterday, end of easily accessing The News...

*****

Three Sundays ago, MJ Akbar wrote about the restriction on aircraft passengers as they near Srinagar airport -- all window shutters are closed for "security reasons." On June 27, The Nation reported that "some eye-witnesses say Prithvi missiles have been installed at the airport aiming towards Azad Kashmir which is hardly 25 kilometres away." On July 2, The Dawn reported that "India has banned the plane of United Nations Military Observers Group in India and Pakistan from landing at Srinagar airport."

If true, how does the inference that Prithvi may indeed have been deployed, harm India? Two, is reading such information -- published by Pakistan! -- a security lapse? Three, don't Indians have the brains to filter the truth from the garbage?

Perhaps the Net censors are worried that our jingoistic aggro will be shaken by the few repositories of objectivity and courage that remain in Pakistan -- all with The Dawn. Ayaz Amir is one of THE finest columnists I've had the good fortune to read. He's a veritable arsenal of the weapon that makes me go weak-kneed -- biting wit. Heed these samples from his Kargil articles:

"There is no shortage of drum-beaters in the national press who are crying that we have the Indians where we want them... General Hamid Gul of course is in a class of his own. He says nothing should deter us, not even the threat of nuclear war... But if this class of super-patriots were to give some thought to the matter they might see that it is Pakistan which has painted itself into a corner."

"We are in no position to expand the Kargil fighting, our strength being insufficient for the purpose. Nor would the international community stand for it, a matter of no small moment for us since our begging bowl is as strong as our pretensions. All we can hope for is that India will not raise the ante, that it will not escalate the situation, or that it will not go against the formidable package of wishes which constitutes our strategic planning. In other words, that India will oblige us by consulting our convenience."

"It is of course the duty of the armed forces to defend the nation's frontiers, and if war is imposed by India, the people and the armed forces will be one in fighting the aggressor. It is, however, scarcely the height of wisdom to acquiesce (to put it no stronger than this) in a situation which leads to war and then to think of giving one's adversary a bloody nose."

"India has conducted itself far better in this emergency. Government, opposition and the armed forces are one about removing the 'intrusion' in the Kargil sector... Indian diplomacy has been more effective and quicker off the mark. Indian television does not insult the intelligence of its viewers the way PTV does."

No, not Indian television, Mr Amir. But somebody else has...

*****

My friend Gopi brought to my notice an interesting observation: Former prime minister V P Singh made a hefty donation to the war fund. From where? London. What's he doing there? Undergoing dialysis. Isn't it available in India? Sure is, and done by competent doctors, too. Who accompanied him to London? His entire family and the Special Protection Group. Where are they staying? At one of the most expensive hotels. What firearms does the SPG use to protect him? As per British law, they were divested of all their weapons at the airport itself. Then how do they propose to protect him? Umm... Who pays for the trip and the entourage? The Indian government looks after ex-PMs with tax-payers' money. What's the damage to the exchequer? Nearly Rs 20 million.

And now Raja V P Singh "donates" Rs 50,000 to the war fund...

*****

Even as aid pours in from all over India, many are wondering if it'll ever reach the intended beneficiaries. I, for one, do not trust the Chief Minister's Fund, the Prime Minister's National Defence Fund and what have you. Simply because I've no faith in politicians and -- especially -- bureaucrats. Only a minuscule percentage of Maharashtra's CM's Fund, raised for the Latur earthquake victims, reached them; even clothes and utensils meant for the homeless found their way to hawkers on Bombay's streets. That, basically, defines the Indian administrative character.

The NDF has collected Rs 200 crore. Ashok Saikia, member-secretary of its executive committee, says, "It's not our business to administer funds... Let them [armed forces] list their requirements, and the committee will give them the funds from the NDF." A senior army official in charge of rehab charges, "We have requested the NDF for funds but there has been no response so far." Back to Saikia: "I've not seen it, the file must be stuck with their own bureaucracy." Meanwhile, the Army Central Welfare Fund has chalked out rehab plans -- a two-room house for every Kargil widow, education for her children, compensation for the disabled -- with only Rs 1.5 crores in its kitty...

Several cases of swindlers collecting money for a bogus "Kargil Victims Relief Fund" in the name of recognised institutions, have been registered with the police. Some cons have even taken to the road. The Indian Army is mortified. One officer lamented, "It is highly embarrassing to see children holding out a box and collecting money at traffic junctions."

Then there was the proposal from an established group of companies to my mother for a charity show. All went well till they mentioned "event management" and "surplus." "Event"???! Oh yes, Kargil's already been commercialised. The mater said she'd rather do a song at her own expense and dedicate its proceeds. End of concert scheme...

*****

In some article, I'd written about a mujahideen's cutting off an Indian soldier's head and taking it to Pakistan. I was very disturbed. Not because a head was cut off, but that it was our head and, to be perfectly honest, because I believed we could never match that killer instinct.

Not true. Remember my mentioning the kukri battle of the Naga Regiment? Correction: not "kukri," but "dao," the traditional Naga double-edged knife with an arrow-shaped head. Corporal Sapuni Mao of this fierce, young mountain regiment said, "We enjoy fighting with the dao. It is the ideal weapon for collecting trophies" -- while pointing jokingly at an officer's head...

No wonder these 1,000 men have been given charge of key positions along Tololing Ridge, including Point 5140 which overlooks the strategic Srinagar-Leh road. They are reputed to be the world's best night fighters and are especially lethal in hand-to-hand combat. They took a peak in Dras sector -- killing all the infiltrators with just the dao. Unit commander Col D A Patil (Maratha...?) says, "The word has spread... there have been no new moves by the other side."

Major YS Gill, under whom the Nagas took Thumbs Up Peak, made a big point: "Until a particular stage, military discipline works, but in the combat zone their killing instinct takes over and then we let them go... But it's momentary. The rage of the Nagas dies with the death of the enemy."

*****

The NRI fundie believes he has a moral right to advocate that India reject diplomacy or cross the LoC or regain PoK or start a full-fledged war and other such weighed stuff. So he works on cyber-polls -- which results are taken seriously by certain duffers in India.

Up to July 1, the Army Central Welfare Fund has received Rs 11,941,005; $ 23,353; and £ 501. Even if we take the dollar as Rs 55 (to make up for the few who sent rupees), our war-like Indian-American messiahs -- doctors, computer engineers, scientists, etc -- have contributed far less than Rs 1,284,415 (since some of that will certainly be non-fundie). Earn dollar value, donate rupee value...

Of my debaters, only one put his money where his mouth is: Dr Chanchal Chatterjee sent a very respectable sum in one shot. Way to go, Tall and Gorgeous.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know all about that "from each according to his ability" pinko bullshit. And I also know the living standard of America's Indian community... In any case, that clause also applies to the consequences of the public pressure you exert: If you aren't here to face the wages of an all-out war, if it's not your neighbourhood that will be flattened -- don't spout empty words from afar. Back up your machismo with at least funds. Hell, students can afford to give, without feeling the pinch, what is the average American donation. It's all in the willingness to feel the pinch... No great shakes to bunk office to whine before the UN... what are you *personally* willing to sacrifice? If you can't forgo even a month's worth of bills, if you can't make a dent in that savings account -- skip the war cry.

Moral right is a very funny thing -- it has to earned. It is not a birthright like citizenship, nor a legal right like suffrage. Those who oppose the Shroud should know its inherent delicacy better than most...

Have I managed to alienate everyone? Good! I've been itching to get it out of my system since Kargil erupted. Every time you show a mirror to others, it's good to take a look in one yourself. I get my dose from pinkos and Mosies, as they get theirs from me. But the mentally steroid-pumped NRI fundie has had things soft: Sheltered from the daily actualities of India, encouraged by the huge ideologically-identical expat numbers, busy bolstering dippy insights through mailing lists, he's become a pontificator without a stake in the consequences of his words. I can't think of a worse characteristic for a pressure group than the insulation from responsibility... Easy to ask others to die; hard to let go of that mortgage installment, eh?

Varsha Bhosle