We asked you to share experiences of lending money to their friends and relatives with us. Here's what Get Ahead readers Richa Fernandes and Brian Crasto have to say about friendship and money:
This episode is to do more with my husband than me. Between the years 2001-2002 I had a job which required me to travel for two weeks every alternate month. My husband is a kind-hearted soul and tends to believe people easily. Women especially take advantage of this. If a lady were to come to him with a sob story he would melt and go out of his way to make her comfortable and ease her problems.
He had a lady friend who was his ex-colleague. She was an elderly lady in her 50s, from South Africa. She has settled in Pune for more than 2 decades now and knew my husband for a good 10 years. I am pretty clear about relationships and do not lend money to friends, as it often damages relationships.
This friend, let's call her Mrs 'X', was in dire need of money one day while I was away on a business trip. She called my husband and narrated her plight. She had taken a loan to buy her daughter a scooter and and since her payments weren't made on time, the recovery agents went to her house and seized it.
Mrs X needed money to get the scooter back. My husband borrowed the amount from a colleague on an interest rate of 10 percent per month and gave it to her. He, being the kind-hearted soul that he, never once thought he would be cheated. This lady was well aware of what he had done and agreed to take the loan on a 10 percent interest basis. Conveniently enough, however, she never paid neither him the interest nor the principal amount.
Since my husband had taken this loan from a colleague, he was paying the interest every month. The company he worked in was not doing well and one fine day the organisation decided to shut shop. His colleague demanded the money as the company was closing down. When my husband asked her for it, Mrs X came up with a sob story of going through tough times.
So my husband paid the principal and interest from his pocket believing this lady would repay him when she could. When Mrs X's daughter came down from South Africa, she finally gave my husband a cheque for Rs 10,000 which covered the interest and the principal amount. My husband was happy to have got the money back and started trusting her.
However, within a few days she called my husband and told him that her own husband suffered a stroke and she needed the money back. The trusting soul that he is, my husband promptly gave her the money back. That proved to be an unwise decision, though. Thereafter she made all the possible excuses not to return it. Sometime later we were in dire need of funds for a religious function for our son.
I called her and told her we need funds and hence she should return the money she borrowed. She came on the day of the function and handed me a measly Rs 500, saying that's all she could manage! I could not believe this lady and was convinced she had no intention of returning the money. I started following up and managed to recover about Rs 4,000 from her.
Needless to say, she soon started abusing us, using all the bad language that she could think of, whenever we put pressure on her to return our money. In the interim she lost her husband and she wanted money again. This time around, although it was a sad situation, I did not relent. After all, we too earn money the hard way. Meanwhile, I also heard from others that she had borrowed money from them and never returned it.
Since Mrs X also had a young daughter, I stopped my husband from visiting her, as chances of her soiling our reputation were high. I finally wrote off that money as a bad debt. This episode wisened up both my husband and me; we have decided we will never lend anyone money without consulting each other.
Needless to say, I am more than glad to have gotten rid of Mrs X's friendship, as it was more of a liability than anything else.
-- Richa Fernandes
This is what friendship is all about
I have got one of the best friends in the world. He will beat anybody when it comes to lending money, as well as retaining true friendship.
I had taken a loan of Rs 1 lakh from my friend John Fernandes in 1999, promising to make him rich by speculating upon the stock market. He told me that whenever I struck it rich, I could repay his money. Unfortunately, I lost everything and I had no income for years together. He stood by me even in such dire circumstances.
When I went to Dubai he lent me Rs 5,000 which I have paid partly. Whenever I'm sick he has taken me to the doctor. He has also treated me to dinner on a couple of occasions. Even today, he is willing to risk his money on any of my stupid ventures.
John has lent lakhs of rupees to his friends and many of them have paid up. His wealth has multiplied since then.
Sometimes, the stories I have read on rediff.com pale in significance when I see John's magnanimity. So-called friends always give advice, but my friend John refrained from giving any even when I punted on his money. A friend who sticks with a person through thick and thin is a true friend indeed. May everyone have a friend like Prince John Fernandes.
-- Brian Crasto
Also read:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be!
Don't lend money to a friend, you will lose both!
Money lending: The brighter side of life
'Friendships last forever, money doesn't'
Money lending: 'I met two messiahs in the US'
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Have you even found yourself in such a situation? Has a relative/ friend who borrowed money from you defaulted on repayment? How did you handle things?
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