The other day, my friend came up with a funny line: "Men are like government bonds, they take forever to mature."
It brought a grin to all our faces. However, when I thought about it later, I realised my investments could actually teach me a lot about relationships.
If I could only apply the principles I learnt here to my interactions with my boyfriends, life would be so different.
Hear me out before you decide to laugh...
Commitment! Commitment! Commitment!
Investing in a company's stock means you are investing in its business. This requires commitment.
I can proudly say I am committed to my investments. In fact, I end up having genuine, long-term relationships with my stocks. I cling to them for dear life. Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but at least I don't let go in a hurry. I hold on to them. Track their price on a weekly basis. Eagerly await the dividends and bonus shares.
Why do I do that? Because I pick up stocks I believe in. Ones that will work for me in the long run. Ones that I can grow old with (just kidding, but you got the point right?).
When it comes to the men in my life, though, it's a different ball game altogether. I tend to let them slip through my fingers.
So, boyfriends come and boyfriends go. The reasons are varied. Boredom sets in. They relocate to another city. They change their hairstyle to something that just does not look cool anymore. The 'feelings' are no longer there.
That's about to change.
From now on, I am going to work at building serious relationships with men I am serious about. And, once I figure this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with (or at least some part of my life with), I will get committed.
It doesn't matter how cool they look. Or whether my 'feelings' hold. Commitment is more than feelings. It is a decision to be made. I'm going to make it.
Conviction matters
Stocks are for the brave and for those willing to endure. Invest in any company and it will always take you through highs and lows.
There may be a slowdown in the economy and the growth of the companies you invested in may take a beating. Earnings may drop. But, if you hang on, things will change over time. The company may go through a bad phase, but if its fundamentals are strong, stay put. It will emerge a winner.
This is why I never invest in the latest trend or the latest favourite company in the market. I only invest in companies I believe in.
Now, I am going to do the same thing in my life. I may be going through a rough patch with the person I am seeing, but that does not mean I should call it quits. I'll hang on. Think of all the things I like about this relationship. About why I believe it will work.
I'll ignore those little petty things that get on my nerves. No more knee-jerk reactions. I'll act only if there is a fundamental change.
Dangerous liaisons
I often find myself in mindless debt.
I end up overspending on my credit card to finance my lifestyle. Then, for months, I dip into my savings trying to pay it back.
A personal loan sounded great and I took it to finance a scuba-diving holiday. Later, the interest payment of 21% really ate into my earnings.
Debt means taking money you don't earn to pay for something you don't really need. And then spending precious, hard-earned money to repay both the loan and the interest that is charged.
Debt is enticing and alluring and promises you a good time before putting you in a soup.
Ditto with smooth talkers who treat me nice and are willing to splurge on me to make me feel like a princess. I convince myself he is Mr Right and, sooner than later, end up feeling like an absolute idiot. To lick my wounds after Mr So-called Nice Guy has said bye-bye in a hurry and gone after another girl, I indulge in a shopping spree.
No more dangerous liaisons for me. I'm going to tread cautiously and with patience. Short-term happiness often comes at a price.
Be reasonable, not illogical
People expect phenomenal returns from stocks. I remember two of my friends chatting some time back. One had a great tip and asked the other if she wanted to invest Rs 25,000 in the stock. "Sure," the other one unwittingly replied. "Will it give me Rs 15,000 more in a few months?"
Get real! Those sort of returns are unreal.
Moreover, to make money in stocks, you got to stay in for the long haul. Not a few months.
And, all said and done, stocks are a risky investment. You could make money, but you could also lose.
So, despite all the new promises I have made to myself about relationships, I will remember not to be truly crushed if it does not work out.
After all, sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.
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