Dear Santa
When I asked my friends what features on their Christmas wish list, I mourned their lack of imagination and creativity.
I mean, why would you ask for a perfume bottle or a pair of Levi's? Can't you go out and get one yourself?
Since you choose to make an appearance just once a year with a promise to make wishes come true, I have decided to make the most of it.
So here is my wish list for this Christmas.
Wish 1: Can you make this bull run last for at least five years?
Now, don't get me wrong. I am not for a moment suggesting that you keep the Sensex at 9,000-odd levels, with a gradual rise now and then. Can you push it to at least 15,000?
Over five years, this should not be too difficult.
All you have to do is let the Foreign Institutional Investors keep pouring money into this country. The Americans and the British were the first entrants, followed by the Germans. The Japanese are the latest. So you still have a large part of the globe to work with.
And yes, don't forget the non-resident Indian population abroad. In case you haven't noticed, they are loaded.
Simultaneously, you can work at keeping interest rates in the US really low. This will ensure that none of the above pull out their money and run to greener pastures for better returns (isn't everyone money crazy!).
Of course, there will other loose ends that have to be tied, but nothing that your ingenuity cannot overcome.
Wish 2: Can you name the most lucrative stocks to invest in?
Now, what is the point of a bull run if I have not invested in the galloping stocks? So how about giving me the names of five 10-baggers?
You know what a 10-bagger is, don't you? Let me explain just to make sure we are both referring to the same thing. Ten baggers are stocks that have increased 10 times in value from the price at which I purchased them.
And yes, I am not looking at them turning into 10 baggers for my grandchildren. I am talking about the next five years.
Now, in case that is a bit too demanding, here is what I suggest. Why don't you orchestrate a stock market correction?
Let the Sensex fall precipitously by around 20%. At that time, I will pick up the five stocks you recommend since their prices would have fallen to dirt cheap levels. Once I have done that, the bulls can start galloping again and the bears and can hibernate for the next five years.
Come Christmas 2010, I will sell the shares, smile and pat myself on the back.
After that, the stock market can shut down for all I care.
Wish 3: Please give me some money!
Be reasonable. What good is a bull run going to do me, even if I have a list of the five best stocks, if I have no money to invest in the stock market?
How about a gift from a benign relative? This one is tough. You will have to make them benign to start with.Better still, why not just convince my boss to give me a bonus? A million rupees should be fine.
Investing that and getting 10 times that amount in five years is perfect. If you do the math, you will realise that I am far from greedy. Investing a million and getting 10 times that amount would leave me with 10 million (Rs 1 crore).
Asking for a crore is really not too much.
Wish 4: And yes, throw in a gift card
Alright, here's the last one.
I know a gift card sounds weird. But look at it practically. What I am asking for will materialise only after five years. What about now?
Just like my friends asked for perfumes and jeans, I guess the mundane must be given some amount of attention.
Now I am not asking for a gift certificate. Those are so limiting. You can only use them at a particular store. I would like a gift card -- the ones that work like pre-paid debit cards and are acceptable at all merchant establishments.
Don't sigh, it's very simple.
All you have to do is approach a bank that offers such cards (you can get your elves to do the groundwork). Kotak Mahindra Bank and IDBI Bank is where you can start. Pay the amount and you will get a card worth that much, which you can gift to me.
The bank would have tied up with either Visa or MasterCard and the person getting the card (in this case, me) can use it just like a debit card. As I spend, the amount gets debited.
The maximum limit of around Rs 25,000 would suit me fine.
And yes dear Santa, in case you feeling exhausted after reading this, I have a promise to make.
If you do give me all that is on this list, you have my word that I shall not bother you or ask for anything for the next five years.
Oops, I almost forgot!
Merry Christmas to you too!
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh
More from rediff