hat little devil called love doesn't come with warning signs and can strike anyone anywhere. What if it strikes two people who work in the same organisation?
Vishal Chhiber, head of HR at Discovery Channel, says, "This is a silent area for most companies. Some companies even have policies against hiring spouses. But yes, this is a fact, more so with the prevailing call centre culture."
Here are some helpful suggestions to those who are in the midst of office romances from those who have been in their shoes:
Be discreet and subtle about your relationship.
Most couples would agree on this one. After all, no outsider wants to be caught in the midst of a domestic feud at work!
Candice D'Souza*, an e-commerce professional, married a co-worker after dating him for a couple of years. "Wearing your heart on your sleeve," she says, "will not only embarrass you and your boyfriend/husband, but others around too. You have to maintain professional etiquette. You should not sacrifice your professionalism by making a public display of your affection."
Devyani Chandwadkar, a graphics designer-turned-marketing executive who married her co-worker and used to work in the same office as her husband, says, "Oh yes, it happens. But I made sure if I fought with my husband, I didn't talk to him till lunchtime. We might have a short lunch and then split to our desks for another session of no talking until the end of the day. By which time I would be dying to talk to him, so everything sorted itself!"
Spend quality time outside the office.
Strange but true. If you share the same office space, you are working together for eight to nine hours every day. And if you are married, you see each other 24 hours a day, every day!
Candice says, "When we were dating each other, we made it a point to take coffee breaks and lunch breaks from work. I used to work in shifts, so I would come in early to meet my boyfriend for lunch."
Limit shoptalk to office hours.
Life is much more than work right? And how will you work on your relationship if it is defined by work alone?
Serena*, a journalist, says, of her husband, "We make sure never to talk work outside of work. And believe me, for a journalist that is T-O-U-G-H! We may discuss issues and happenings, but NO work -- that is a strict rule. It would be terrible to bring or discuss work at home too after a whole day of working together. Of course, my husband's beat is different thankfully, so we are not really in each other's hair all the time!"
Spend some time with yourself too!
Sure, you love your partner and want to be with him/her all the time. But spend some quality time with yourself too!
Devyani admits, "It can get boring if you see the same person day in and out. That is why I made sure I get away with some dance classes. Now, I have gone back to college for a management programme."
Raghu Ramachandran*, a banking professional, says, "We make sure we have the occasional night out with our own set of friends. I might go out for a drink with my buddies while she goes out for dinner with hers. We reserve weekends exclusively for ourselves, though sometimes I do go on treks with my friends. Much of the time, my wife joins me because she is an enthusiastic trekker too!"
Discuss the potential consequences of your relationship vis-à-vis working in the same company.
Will one of you have to quit your job and move to another place?
It always helps to plan ahead, says Candice.
"We decided not to be in the same place of work after our marriage. A lot of issues went into that decision: After a fight, you can't really ignore your husband at work! Also there was a niggling insecurity about both of us working at the same place -- today, with all this downsizing going around, we did not want to be faced with a situation where we both found ourselves without a job."
Last, but not the least, turn a blind eye to office gossip!
Tongues may wag at work. You should be prepared to be the topic of conversation for a while, until the novelty of your 'office romance' fades! Until then, stay cool.
Leena Kamat*, a software programmer, says, "It got really uncomfortable sometimes because we were an informal group at work. Everyone knew what everyone else was doing. So we were the constant butt of jokes for a long, long time. After a while, we simply decided to turn a blind eye to everything. As long as you are comfortable with yourselves and your relationship, what others say shouldn't matter to you."
*Names have been changed upon request
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh
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