Inspired by a big corporation's desire, or many big corporations' desires, to control everything, everything from when Australia contrived to lose to India after Indian cricket was rocked by the match-fixing scandal and racked by the resignation of the revered Sachin Tendulkar and still-conflicted-about-Mr. Kapil Dev -- and supposedly rejuvenated by the entry of a foreigner John Wright -- to the match against Sri Lanka on Tuesday night has been fixed. Entered. Inputted. Controlled. Systemized. Into the Matrix.
Ronaldo was forced to play in the final of that last to last World Cup final against France you know the one am talking about by Nike. He was added to the list. And we know what happened. Zaheer was added to the list. And we know what happened. Pure drama. That's what's happening. He started well. Got thrashed. Dismally crashed. And came back brilliantly in the last over. Which they all knew he was going to bowl. But they had to pretend they didn't. The suspense had to be cranked up that bit more.
We are the biggest market. We are the cash cow. We have to be pleased. This region is crucial. It has to be milked. Sri Lanka fell to pieces. The pieces fell in place. And good things began to happen. Maybe one day we'll even give up a piece of Kashmir for a bigger piece of the cricket pie. It might be inputted. It might be destined. It might be Matrixed. I chanced upon it. You could. You should. Is cricket linked to politics? Was it coincidental that the Pakistan series was fixed just before the elections. Was it all about the feel-good factor? Is that why something that threatened to get derailed turned into a 'must-do' at all cost?
Read somewhere. And then reread between the lines. Inspired by a superb all-round performance from Virender Sehwag, the next big brand after Sachin Tendulkar, who scored 81 and then claimed three crucial wickets, high time, the timing was right, the nations were watching, the advertisers were ready, the actors were there to take centrestage. We were transfixed. And we thought India beat Sri Lanka by four runs and advanced to the final of the Asia Cup on Tuesday.
What happened to a team that looked set for victory after a brilliant 130 off 132 deliveries from Sanath Jayasuriya it had to be done. We had to be made to watch till the very last ball. The Sri Lankan, also, had to be made happy. Everybody must win. People who think Pakistan lost their shot at the final are mistaken. They were never meant to be in the final. Moin was not meant to hit. Pakistan beat India. And that's all that matters.
Remember how India beat them in the World Cup quarter-final? Ajay Jadeja, Waqar Younis, Wasim Akram the semi-final the drama. But we beat them. And that's all that mattered.
Earlier, half-centuries from Sehwag what timing Sourav Ganguly and Yuvraj Singh what brands helped India and some companies score 271 for the loss of six wickets and buy more mindspace. (Hat tip, to Al Ries and Jack Trout.) Imagine how many less eyeballs they would have got had India beaten Pakistan and this match become irrelevant, which would mean even emptier stadiums and even lower viewership in the Island nation where cricket seems to be losing ground to what? Thus the need for doctoring an outcome that comes as close as fixable to a marketer's 'wet dream'. Pardon the French.
But there is no match-fixing in cricket. There is only 'fancy fixing'. Never mind the guy. He's the comic in the 'System'.
Read practically everywhere: Yuvraj being promoted as opener because he pulls in more people than Akash Chopra. Fortunately, he also happens to be a better puller, cutter and scorer of runs. A good thing to have when you're being promoted to open. Besides, of course, big time marketability. (Shoot me, I'm just a pundit.)
Sehwag survived a dropped chance at second slip when on 10, but, on the whole, his apprehension was understandable as this year he has scored only 413 runs in 15 One-Day Internationals at an average of just 27.53. In comparison, in Tests he has scored 557 runs at 92.83. Maybe he needs to be promoted as a Test player. After all a mega-brand cannot be restricted to one-day success.
Every once in a while the batsmen would dance down the track and hit a six or four. By doing so the bowlers were kept guessing, never quite sure of where to pitch the ball. By the 30th over, India had reached 152 for 1, at over five runs an over. The trick now would be to maintain the run-rate and reach at least 280. Sehwag was beginning to find his touch and so was Ganguly.
And the people were just trooping back home from work all primed and ready to be controlled and watch TV. Cruel. Ridiculous. Bizarre. Sometimes you wonder what isn't. Isn't it bizarre we can enjoy this when people are dying, children are burning, minors are being raped, politicians are zap! Change the channel. Switch to the shopping channel. It's masquerading as cricket.
Because that's what the Big Corporations want. God, I'm beginning to sound like Arundathi. I wish. But eff all that. Let's just go sell more stuff to people. Let's find another hero. Let's change Khan to Pathan. Let's make him the balm for after Godhra. Let's make him the secular face of modern India. Let's make him a vote bank. Imran Khan was a Pathan. And Irfan Khan had to be packaged into a Pathan. I'm not saying. His mum said it. He'll have pan SAARCian appeal. And his father is a muezzin. How convenient. But we've been there before. Right.
Still doesn't mean my neighbour can't stop feeling angry about how he is being manipulated. (Yeah, he's sort of like 'Boycott's mum-in-law.)
Rahul Dravid walked in next and headed back to the pavilion after scoring only one. He lasted just seven balls. Trying to drive through the off-side he edged the ball to Sangakarra, who dived to his right to take a good catch. (169 for 3). He'd done enough for Hutch. And there was always the final.
Three overs later, Pathan got into the act and had new batsman Saman Jayantha (5) caught behind, fishing outside the off-stump. (36 for 2). Yawn. This is very boring. And yet, we are riveted. We are transfixed. We do not know we're being had. Or maybe we do. We want to be had. We want to be distracted. This life is too harsh to be lived without distraction. Too complex to be not part of a matrix. A system. It's just a game. Right down to the last ball.
If you have an issue you would like to air your views on mail your article to ashishmagotra@rediff.co.in
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